I'm Just Sayin'

All of the following are facts. The conclusions are up to you.

-Florida Atlantic was the only school in our state to win its bowl game this year, defeating Memphis 44-27 in the New Orleans Bowl. The Owls, who started playing football in 2001, earned their first bowl victory faster than any other Division I football program in state history.

-In the Liberty Bowl, UCF's defense held a Southeastern Conference offense (Mississippi State) to 199 total yards, including 39 passing yards. Against the Knights, the Bulldogs were 2 of 13 on third down and had only seven plays that covered ten yards or more. And they won.

-The top two ballot-winners in this year's Heisman Trophy vote, Tim Tebow of Florida and Darren McFadden of Arkansas, combined for 316 total yards and five touchdowns in their respective bowl games. Both lost.

-Heading into Thursday's Orange Bowl matchup between Kansas and Virginia Tech, the Atlantic Coast Conference is 2-5 in bowl games this year. Heading into the BCS Championship Game between LSU and Ohio State, the Southeastern Conference is 6-2. The Big Ten is 3-4 prior to that same BCS title game.

-South Florida gave up 533 total yards to Oregon in the Sun Bowl, the Bulls' worst defensive performance of the season and the only time all year that South Florida allowed over 500 yards in a game.

-The state of Florida produced five Division I bowl teams this year: Florida, Florida State, South Florida, UCF, and Florida Atlantic. Bowl record: 1-4.

-Of note to nobody else but me: during the national telecast of the Sun Bowl this weekend, CBS threw up a graphic with the title "Big Four?" -- asking out loud if South Florida should be included with the so-called "Big Three" of UF, FSU, and Miami. Not that I had a patent on it or anything, but allow me to welcome CBS to the party, albeit two years late. Seriously, would it have killed them to give credit where credit is due?

I'm just sayin'.

Postscript: as mentioned, my wife and I had tickets to the Capital One Bowl in Orlando on New Year's Day. We also had passes to get into the hospitality area on Tinker Field prior to the game. Having secured a baby-sitter for our two kids for the entire day, we drove to the Amway Arena parking lot on Tuesday morning to catch a bus to the Citrus Bowl and avoid the parking crush.

Halfway through our bus ride, my wife jumped up and began fishing in her pockets for our game tickets. One of them was missing. Somewhere between the parking lot and the bus, she either dropped one or had it picked -- more on that in a moment.

Armed with only one ticket for the two of us, we ventured to the stadium. She stayed on the bus, teary-eyed, and rode back to the parking lot to look for the dropped ticket (fat chance) while I waited for her in the tent area. After about ten minutes, she called me on my cell and told me that the other ticket was lost.

She rode the bus back to the stadium and we devised a strategy. She went to the Citrus Bowl ticket office with the one legit ticket and a story -- finding someone wearing a Florida Citrus Sports shirt and a welcoming smile, she told her tale. There was nothing we could do to replace the lost ticket, she was told, but she was offered the chance to buy another ticket, at face value, in order to get her into the game. She accepted. One thousand thanks to the Florida Citrus Sports staff who took pity on her. Their grace will not be ignored, or forgotten.

So we went into the stadium with our one "real" ticket and her one recently purchased ticket, and sat in the seats that we were supposed to have for the game. As the pregame festivities were going on, we noticed a young 20-something kid sitting by himself in the row in front of us. We were in the southwest corner, right next to the Florida band.

This kid was looking around nervously, calling and texting his buddies on his cell. My wife, who was a total wreck by this point, nudged me and said, "I'll bet that guy has my ticket."

Sure enough, as the section filled up before the game, the kid was bounced from seat to seat until we all figured out that he was holding the offending ticket -- OUR ticket. Bear in mind that I bought these seats from a group of Bull Gator lawyers who were all aware of our situation. Once this poor sap turned around and tried to claim his (our) seat, the entire row behind me jumped down his throat, accusing him of stealing it. The dude was terrified. I took over.

"Where did you get that ticket?" I asked.

He looked at me sideways. "At the hotel," he said.

"No, you didn't."

Dramatic pause. I waited for a moment to allow his situation to settle in. I should mention that one of my fellow ticket-holders is six-four, 200-plus, and was four beers into the morning by that time. This was not a fight that anybody wanted.

"You didn't get that ticket at your hotel," I continued. "You stole it, or you bought it from some guy outside the stadium. That's my wife's ticket, and I already had to buy another one just to get her into the game."

He's sweating bullets now. Kickoff is about three minutes away.

For reasons that I cannot explain, I let him off the hook.

"I'll make you a deal," I said.

"How much?" he asked.

I shook my head. "Here's the ticket that I had to buy for my wife. It's in the end zone. Take it, and go away. Give me back my freaking ticket." Or something like that.

He looked at me, and looked at my linebacker-sized buddy, and said -- and I quote -- "I love you."

In fact, he said it again: "I love you."

He took the crappy ticket and bolted. My wife sat next to me, undisturbed, for the rest of the game. And I never saw the kid again.

I don't know, and I don't want to know. Sure, I could have squeezed him for some money. But the end result is, I watched my first live college football game of the season, with my wife, in Orlando, and we had a ball. May there be a place in heaven for me, and for that dipstick who had my wife's ticket. It was worth every second, and every penny. Screw it.

College football. Is there anything better?