Help Wanted

Had a great blog entry planned out this week.

After beating 5th-ranked West Virginia on Friday night in Tampa, the University of South Florida has reached a dizzying pinnacle: 6th in the AP poll, 9th among the coaches. It's the fastest climb from entry into Division I football to the top-10 in the modern era of college football. USF's transitional season into D-I was six short years ago.

I was trying to come up with an analogy that would clearly explain how ridiculously fast USF's ascent has been. Was it Percy Harvin fast? 'Mike Bianchi heading for a free media buffet' fast? 'Whit Watson leaving the golf course after a double on 18' fast?

In all cases, we're talking breathtaking speed. But that didn't quite capture it.

Then, as I pored over South Florida's athletic website, it hit me: the Bulls have made the jump to lightspeed. May the Big Five be with you.




Spooky, no?

However, that entry has been shelved in favor of this one: I'm officially hanging out the "Help Wanted" sign at Sun Sports. Understand that I have absolutely no authority to do this whatsoever, as I do not hire or fire anyone here. Furthermore, we're not really hiring, as far as I know. But seeing as how I have already decreed both a Big Five and a Big Four and nobody has stopped me yet, I figured, what the heck.

First rule of being a sports journalist: beg forgiveness, not permission.

As soon as I posted the "Big Four" blog, wherein USF was welcomed to the big time by the Committee (me) by virtue of their win over Auburn, a Bulls fan in Arizona posted a reply asking me this:

"If USF has a seat at the table in the Big 4, when will you give USF a studio seat, aka Floyd, Walsh and Doering? Maybe it's time to consider a USF personality if USF really is in the club or as high as #2 in the state as many of you say."

Over the last few weeks, I've received several e-mails from Bulls fans asking the same question. Just this week, there was this thread on TheBullsPen.com, a USF fan site, wherein South Florida fans began exchanging suggestions for a former Bull who might fit the bill as a panelist on "Tailgate Overtime." I also did a live chat on SunSportsTV.com on Monday night after "TGOT," something we call the After Party, and was hit with yet another request to get USF representation on our shows next to the "Big Three" of Miami's Steve Walsh, FSU's William Floyd, and Florida's Chris Doering.

As I e-mailed one of these many correspondents a few weeks back -- this smells like a conspiracy. A concerted effort, if you will. But so what? They have a point.

Thus, the "Help Wanted" sign.

Here's the criteria, as I wrote during the chat: the ideal candidate will be a former USF football player who is instantly recognizable to even a casual college football fan. NFL experience is preferred, but not required. The candidate should be media-savvy, able to express his point clearly and energetically, avoiding the "deer-in-headlights" look at all times (although we occasionally relax this rule for Bianchi. Ba-dum-ching!) Previous on-air experience is a big plus.

The ideal candidate must also be available for 20 episodes of "Tailgate Overtime" from late August through National Signing Day in February. The show is live every Monday night at 7pm, shot at a studio in Orlando, Florida. There's compensation, but not enough to live on -- everyone on that show, including Walsh, Floyd, Doering, Bianchi, and national sports radio host Todd Wright -- has a day job.

Except me, of course. This IS my day job. And night job, and weekend job. Never mind. That's the criteria.

The intriguing challenge to this, of course, is the fact that USF has become big time almost too quickly. With only ten years of football history to go on -- and just over half of that time spent as a full-fledged D-I program -- it's not like there's dozens of former star players wandering the streets of Tampa. As one message board poster pointed out, correctly, most of USF's best football players are either still in school, playing in the NFL, or hanging around trying to retain a roster spot with some pro team somewhere. When it comes to finding a former player with the cache' of a Walsh, Floyd, or Doering -- three guys with national and conference championship rings, NFL service, and in Bar None's case, a Super Bowl trophy -- USF's short history is a hurdle.

Of course, this could get out of hand quickly. What if UCF beats South Florida in two weeks and enters the polls? Will Alex Haynes be calling me? Daunte Culpepper? Asante Samuel? And what about Florida Atlantic? They've got the Bulls this week -- if they pull off the upset, will Jared Allen's people be in touch?

We'll jump off that bridge when we come to it. After all, there's room at the table for everybody, literally and figuratively. Mostly figuratively.