Taking On 'The Chin'

Did you know that Don Shula lives on a private island?

His neighbors include Julio Iglesias and Rick Pitino. The island has its own government and its own police force -- two guys in Ford Explorers who vigilantly enforce the 20-mile-an-hour speed limit. There's also a guy at the guard gate who loves the "Chevy Florida Fishing Report" on Sun Sports.

Oh, and it has its own private golf course, with a clubhouse that makes Isleworth look like your local goat-track muni. Shula lives within walking distance of the first tee, but that's not an issue, because he's got four golf carts in his garage.

I'm getting ahead of myself.

On Monday afternoon, I drove to Miami to tape an episode of "In My Own Words" with Shula, who was one of our marquee targets when we launched this show a few weeks ago. Our first two episodes featured University of Florida athletic director Jeremy Foley -- who you'll have to admit has had a pretty good year, even if you hate the Gators -- and new Miami head football coach Randy Shannon, who quickly convinced me that he was the perfect man for the job. In fact, when I jumped in my car on Monday, I had just wrapped up the Shannon interview, and I was feeling pretty good. Shannon was excellent, the taping went well, and we knew we had a good show in the can. Optimism flowed throughout my wife's Chrysler Pacifica as I barrelled down the Turnpike.

All of that ended when traffic on said Turnpike came to a complete halt somewhere north of Yeehaw Junction. There was a brush fire, a big one, and the FHP decided it was unsafe to proceed. An ever-lengthening line of cars waited for about half an hour -- many of us getting out of our vehicles in an attempt to see what was going on -- before the troopers inexplicably decided to let us pass through the smoke. I heard later that they shut it down again soon after I passed. The next morning, a horrific accident would again shut down the Turnpike, near the same spot, for most of the day. Can't help it if I'm lucky. Maybe that was an omen.

So naturally, having escaped a disastrous re-routing at Yeehaw Junction, I got completely freaking lost once I reached Dade County. Drove thirty minutes out of my way, called the hotel, got directions, cursed a blue streak, fought traffic, and rolled into the lobby a mere 5 hours after I left Orlando. Good times. I love South Florida.

Since we were interviewing Don Shula the next morning, the Sun Sports crew decided that, for research purposes, we needed to eat dinner at Shula's Steakhouse. I had the grouper. It was excellent. When in Miami Lakes, may I recommend Shula's, or perhaps Shula's 2 on Main Street, which is conveniently located inside Don Shula's Hotel, which is about two minutes down the road from Don Shula's Golf Club. I believe you can access it from the Don Shula Expressway. Did I mention that I was a wee bit nervous about meeting The Chin?

Woke up at 6:45am on Tuesday morning. Yep, a bit anxious. Did my 30-minute run on the treadmill -- I was tired of getting lost, so forget an outdoor run -- and got dressed. My directions to Shula's home indicated that it was an 18-mile drive. It took 45 minutes to get there. I love South Florida.

Drive down Collins Avenue in North Miami Beach. Head south, past Haulover Park, into the village of Surfside. Make a right, and pass through a neighborhood full of tidy, well-kept homes, none any bigger than 1500 square feet, none any cheaper than $1.5 million. I won't tell you the names of the streets, but it wouldn't matter if I did. The guards at the gate to Shula's neighborhood sit behind mirrored glass and probably carry AK-47's.

I punch the call button at the gate.

Disembodied voice: "May I help you?"

"Yeah, my name is Whit Watson, I'm with Sun Sports, we're here to do an interview with Don Shula at his home...I believe he's expecting us."

Pause. "What was the last name again?"

Crap. Was that the sound of a magazine being loaded?

"Watson. W-A-T-S-O-N."

Another pause. Then, "sure, I can let you in -- if you can tell me where the redfish and snook are biting this weekend."

Swear to God. The guard was a huge "Chevy Florida Fishing Report" fan. Spent three minutes on the speakerphone telling me how he watches it every week. The crew at Shula's house got a HUGE kick out of this story later. I gave the guy my thanks -- and Mike Holliday's home phone number -- and crossed the Venetian bridge into another world.

So let me set the stage: this island has about 36 homes, none of which would sell for less than $6 million. Since the island is more or less circular, all of the homes are waterfront. None are less than 9,000 square feet. There's a golf course in the center of the island, which appears to be maintained by the same people who bring you Augusta National. And now I'm going to park in Don Shula's driveway for a half-hour interview on his back porch, overlooking the Intercoastal Waterway.

How good is this job?

The Coach is busy this morning. Memorabilia signing in his garage all morning, followed by our interview, followed by another interview for NFL Films, followed by a Dolphins shoot wherein Shula will offer congratulations to the winner of an award named in his honor. All of this is relayed to me by Bill, the personal assistant to Shula, who greets me at the door of an old-school Miami home that can best be described as "lavish." Not showy, not gaudy. Lavish. Heavy drapes, big sofas, Italianate decor, oak panels. Lavish.

Bill goes everywhere with Shula when the coach is working. "Working," in this case, means exactly days like today: interviews, autograph sessions, availability. Everyone wants a piece of the man. Bill tells me that they try to pack all of these requests into single days, maybe once or twice a month, so as not to wear the coach out. It's a Media Day, essentially. One shot. He's 77 years old, after all.

However, when he walks onto his lanai to meet us for the interview, he looks about 60, tops. His hair is silver, but it's all there. He's shorter than I expected (aren't all celebrities that way?). He's trim -- thank you, NutriSystem!

I offer my hand. He takes it.

And Don Shula says to me, "you called the play-by-play for the St. Thomas Aquinas - Lakeland game?"

Bill has done his job by whispering background info into Shula's ear. Right about now, I really like Bill. I should also mention that Shula's grandson played for Aquinas last fall, and was on the field for the best football game I ever saw.

This is starting well.

The content of the interview will remain unwritten, for I would prefer that you all watch "In My Own Words" with Don Shula, next Monday (3/19) at 7pm on Sun Sports, with re-airs throughout the week. I will say this:

--My first question was about how much weight he had lost with NutriSystem, which he was MORE than happy to talk about. Obviously, the man has been compensated.

--His restaurant business, with 26 locations in 15 states, is his passion. And his favorite item on the menu is the 24-ounce porterhouse.

--Even with the cameras rolling, he didn't back off one inch on his comments about his son Mike's firing at Alabama, or on Nick Saban's departure from the Dolphins. He's Don Shula, dammit. He calls 'em like he sees 'em.

--He dearly loves John Carroll University in Cleveland, his alma mater. He considers himself an Ohio guy, as well as a Miami guy. He is fiercely loyal, which probably explains the fierce loyalty shown to him by his players.

--He believes that Bob Kuechenberg should be in the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Do not argue with him on this.

--His off-camera assessment of Florida's performance in the BCS Championship Game: "Too much speed and defense." Well, thanks, Coach. You just summed up in five words what I struggled to spit out in one thousand.

--For a living legend, he is warm, inviting, and disarmingly friendly. He offered me a soda when we sat down. I guarantee that his 16 (!) grandchildren adore him. He draws people to him like a magnet. He happily posed with the entire Sun Sports crew for a photograph, holding his two Lombardi Trophies. Our grandchildren will enjoy that photo.

--His home is what we all work for. If there is a pot of gold at the end of our rainbows, I have seen it, and the guard at the gate loves to fish.

Quite a day. Hope you enjoy the show.