Not Doubting Thomas

Let's get one thing straight - Isiah Thomas was one of the best basketball players you ever saw, and one of the best ever, period.

Hall of Famer, NBA's 50 Greatest, 12-time All-Star, two-time champion. 19 points and nine assists per game in a 13-year, 979-game career. Zeke. The Babyfaced Assassin. On the court, his credentials are impeccable.

But once he stopped playing - man, did the wheels come off.

For a disturbingly entertaining read, check out Isiah's Wikipedia entry. It's not a biography, it's a reconstruction of a traffic accident. A first-hand account of a train wreck. Wikipedia is hardly a definitive resource - it's compiled and edited by its readership - but the timeline of Thomas's post-Pistons career is accurate. And embarassing.

As part owner and executive VP of the expansion Toronto Raptors, Thomas shepherded Damon Stoudamire, Marcus Camby, and Tracy McGrady into the NBA - although Glen Grunwald, the man who succeeded Thomas in Toronto, gets the credit for T-Mac. Three years into Thomas's tenure, a dispute with new management (and 179 losses) compelled Zeke to resign.

Note for draftniks: in '96, Thomas took Camby with the second overall pick, ahead of Shareef Abdur-Rahim, Ray Allen, Antoine Walker, Kobe Bryant, Peja Stojakovic, Steve Nash, Jermaine O'Neal, and Zydrunas Ilgauskas, any one of whom could have saved his job.

After a brief broadcasting stint with NBC, Thomas somehow finagled a deal to buy the entire Continental Basketball Association for the low, low price of $10 million dollars in October of 1999. It's worth noting that just six months later, Thomas had an offer from the NBA to purchase the CBA at a profit of roughly $2 million. He turned it down. Three months after that, Thomas was approached by the Indiana Pacers about their head coaching job, which compelled Thomas to make a decision - divest himself of his CBA ownership and take the gig, or continue running the league and miss the Pacer opportunity. He chose the former, placing the CBA in a blind trust. That decision paralyzed the league, which ceased operations and declared bankruptcy in February of 2001.

In short, Isiah Thomas managed to submarine a 54-year-old professional sports league in a mere 18 months. Granted, the NBA sped up the process by creating the D-League, which stole the CBA's niche as pro basketball's top minor league, but still - one man, 18 months. Impressive.

So he takes the Pacer job, replacing Larry Bird, who had coached Indiana to a .687 winning percentage over the previous three seasons, including three straight trips to the Eastern Conference Finals and one six-game loss to the Lakers in the 2000 NBA Finals. In 2001, Thomas had largely the same cast, with Reggie Miller, Jalen Rose, Al Harrington, and Travis Best joined by the newly acquired Jermaine O'Neal - hey, better late than never.

The result: 41-41, first round loss to the Sixers. Who, in Isiah's defense, would reach the NBA Finals that season.

2002: same players plus Jamaal Tinsley and Brad Miller. 42-40, first round loss to the Nets. Who, in Isiah's defense, would reach the NBA Finals that season.

2003: same players plus Ron Artest, who wasn't crazy yet. 48-34, first round loss to the Celtics. Who, in Isiah's defense, were, umm, the sixth seed, led by Antoine Walker. Hey, better late than never.

Three years under Larry Bird, the Pacers win 147 games and reach the Eastern Conference Finals at worst in all three seasons. Three years under Isiah Thomas, the Pacers win 16 fewer games and never escape the first round.

In December of 2003, having been jettisoned by a still-fuming Bird, Thomas lands the Knicks presidency. The Knicks burn through three coaches that season - Don Cheney, Herb Wiliams, and Lenny Wilkens - en route to a 39-win season and a first-round sweep at the hands of the Nets.

In the 2004-2005 season, with a full summer of Thomas's expertise behind them, the Knicks storm to a 33-win campaign, using both Wilkens and Williams as head coaches. This past season, another coach - Larry Brown - and 59 losses, tying a franchise record. All of that with a $125 million dollar payroll that included a $35 million dollar commitment to two players - Allan Houston and Anfernee Hardaway - who are either retired or semi-retired.

This summer? The Knicks have no lottery pick thanks to the Eddy Curry trade. Stefon Marbury is signed up through 2009 at an average of $20 mil per year. Steve Francis has the same amount of time left on his deal at roughly $16 million per season. And they can't play together. Jerome James has a player option that could keep him in New York until 2010 at an average of just under $6 million a year, or roughly $4,126 dollars for every point he's ever scored in his six-year NBA career.

Wow.

I come here not to bury Isiah Thomas, who is, as stated, one of the best basketball players of our lifetimes. I come here to point out that Isiah Thomas has to be one of the best interviewees in the history of business.

Think about all the tips you got from your college guidance counselor about approaching a job interview: wear something tailored and fashionable. Polish your shoes. Stand tall, shoulders back. Look your interviewer in the eye. Shake hands firmly, but avoid the death-grip. Turn every weakness into a strength. Research the company thoroughly. Don't slouch. Don't tell off-color jokes.

Seriously, has anyone mastered the art of the interview as well as Isiah? Given his list of post-basketball accomplishments - which, like the membership rolls at Augusta National, should never be committed to paper - there's no other explanation for his bewildering ability to continue to get hired for anything.

Larry Brown may be on his way out from New York, but Isiah remains, probably coaching his own mess next season. And that won't be his last job, either. In ten years, he's gone from expansion team, to league owner/commissioner, to network TV, to the Pacers, to the Knicks. I wouldn't be surprised if he's named the GM of Manchester United next spring.

Great-looking guy, sharp dresser, charming, has fascinating stories about watching the Barcelona Olympics from his couch - Isiah must flat-out KILL in an interview. That must be it.