STL Fantasy Football Draft Results...Ouch

Yep, it's official: I hate my fantasy team. The season can now begin.

For those who missed it, we have created a Sports Talk Live fantasy football league at FoxSports.com. The idea is to pit some of the STL talent and production staff against each other, with results and trash talk played out every Monday on the show. The ownership group includes myself, Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel, Chevy Tailgate Saturday analyst Brady Ackerman, former Cy Young winner Frank Viola, Todd Wright of ESPN Radio, Sports Talk Live producer Jamie Shapiro and director Mark Cassoni, and Sun Sports digital editor Mike Wargo. Without any hope of gathering that group for a draft (even via conference call), we each ranked our players and allowed the website to Auto-Pick our teams. All of this brings me back to my thesis, which is: I hate my team.

Jamie, as commissioner of our league, allowed the website to randomly select our draft order. I ended up with the sixth pick out of eight owners, which prompted an immediate protest from the front office of Moody Freaking Talent (the name of my franchise). Sadly, there was nothing I could do about it, so sixth is where I stood.

As I wrote in this space previously, I know squat about fantasy football, so I followed the advice of the writers at FoxSports.com's fantasy football page. My rankings were heavy with running backs up top - I was told that running backs win leagues - and slotted the QB's pretty low, with the exception of Manning, Culpepper, and McNabb. I ranked wideouts in the middle with the QB's, and placed tight ends, defenses, and kickers toward the bottom. Here's where I thought I was exceedingly clever - FoxSports.com allows owners in Auto-Pick leagues to choose how the computer fills your roster. You can take the highest ranked player available at every pick, which might leave you with holes to fill after the draft, or you can instruct the site to fill your starting lineup first, then fill your bench.

The third option, the one that I chose, was a combination of the first two. Fill every position with the highest ranked player who qualifies at that spot, even if that means filling starting spots and bench spots simultaneously. I figured, with an Auto-Pick format, that would give me the most depth and flexibility from week to week.

Remember that part where I told you that I top-loaded my rankings with running backs? Well, it worked, because every running back in the league is on my roster.

My two starters are Edgerrin James and Jamal Lewis. So far, so good. My flex position for week one is Stephen Jackson of the Rams. Still liking it. However, my bench - and I am not making this up - is filled with nothing but running backs.

Three of them are rookies: Cadillac Williams, Ronnie Brown, and Cedric Benson. Travis Henry, Brian Westbrook, and Duce Staley round out my reserves. That's eight running backs on a roster of fifteen spots. I'd like to talk to the guys who wrote the code for that "Auto-Pick" feature. Needless to say, I have already sent e-mails to three fellow owners, trying to move some of these RB's in exchange for, say, a backup QB, tight end, or wide receiver, of which I currently have none.

My wideouts are Chad Johnson of the Bengals (happy happy) and Isaac Bruce of the Rams (would have been happier if this was 1999). My kicker is Ryan Longwell of the Packers (for a kicker, I love his last name). My defensive unit is Atlanta, which makes me strangely excited. My tight end is Eric Johnson of the Niners, ranked as the 9th best at his position at FoxSports.com. I've never heard of him, but I read his bio on the website and discovered that he's from Yale, so my Ivy League loyalty prevents me from dumping him.

But here's where I really get worried: my quarterback (correction, my ONLY quarterback) is Ben Roethlisberger. Ouch.

Immediately, I began to scour the rosters of other teams in our league, to find out who had extra QB's (again, I've got loads of RB talent to trade). Bianchi, who proudly finished dead last in the Orlando Sentinel's fantasy league last year, managed to get five on his roster: Kerry Collins, Aaron Brooks, Joey Harrington, David Carr, and Byron Leftwich. He's got the numbers; what he doesn't have is any QB that I would actually trade for. Seeing as how he also landed LaDanian Tomlinson, Clinton Portis, Antonio Gates, and New England's defense, I'm thinking he may not be my preferred trading partner.

Jamie Shapiro, the producer of Sports Talk Live, also ended up with five QB's on his roster: Culpepper, Trent Green, Favre, Brees, and Jake Delhomme. His running backs are Domanick Davis and Kevan Barlow, two men who cannot spell their first names correctly AND cannot hold a candle to my embarassment of riches at the RB position. I'm all over that. Surely he can part ways with Favre, Brees, or Delhomme in exchange for Staley, Henry, or Westbrook. Negotiations are ongoing.

There were some odd results from the Auto-Pick feature. Brady Ackerman ended up with three defenses: Baltimore, Pittsburgh, and Washington. Wonder which one he'll try to trade. Frankie V has six wideouts. Mike Wargo, who held the eighth and final pick of the draft, somehow ended up with Priest Holmes, Willis McGahee, McNabb, Ahman Green, Hines Ward, Santana Moss, and Bubba Franks. However, he also landed Fragile Freddy Taylor, which may be the kiss of death. Mark Cassoni, the hockey fan, took Colts kicker Mike Vanderjagt in the eighth round, ahead of players like Brees, Henry, and Alge Crumpler. Perhaps he thought he was ranking goalies instead - you know, "kick-save" does sound a lot like "kicker." Point being, I hate my team.

Okay, "hate" is a strong word. I have grave concerns about my team, specifically its depth at everything except running back. I like my defense, and I like my kicker. I'm a wee bit wary about depending on a Yalie at the tight end position, but I can pick somebody up. Big Ben scares the hell out of me, as does Isaac Bruce. Did I mention that I have no backups at any of those positions?

For my fellow owners: James, Lewis, Jackson, Henry, Westbrook, and Staley are proven commodities. The rookies - Williams, Brown, and Benson - will get their carries. It's time to make a deal. Help a brother out.

Your suggestions are welcome, by the way. Keep me out of the cellar. Watch Sports Talk Live, every Monday at 7pm, for updates.